Back to School Scaries: Changing Schools or Grades Transcript
Preeti (00:00)
Hey, Curt and Preeti here from Maya4Life.com talking about back to school. Hey, Curt, so there are a lot of kids right now excited. I know some of the parents are even more excited to get them back to school. Perhaps they've just started school. Maybe they're at a completely new school. Maybe they've moved divisions going from lower to middle, middle to high school. But there's also anxiety that comes with all of that. So
What do we say to our kids at all these different age groups who are feeling anxious about these transitions?
Curt (00:32)
Well, I know when my kids were always starting a new school, whether it's, going from eighth grade to freshmen or, going from one school to another. The first thing I would always tell them is that everybody's faking it. Everybody's on their first day. maybe, one or two kids just from the neighborhood or some sort of sports league. But if you're in a new school and transferring in, or it's the beginning of a new school year entering a school, everyone feels the same nervousness walking in. So it kind of gets them to quell their own fears, realize everyone's looking for a friend.
and as I've talked about in other videos, go up to the person sitting alone. If you have a friend or two that you already know in the lunchroom and sit with them, go up to a kid who doesn't appear to have any friends at this school or actually my son's at transfer day tomorrow, helping the transfer students who have never been to this school. And he's got a buddy he's showing around. let them know that there are nice people here and
doesn't mean you're going end up BFFs, but it lets them know that people are willing to talk to them and get to know them. And it takes their fear away. And I always told my kids, if you're this nervous going into X school and you've been living around here, you know, five kids, imagine what it's like to be no, no one and walking in tomorrow and just having your mom or dad say, walk you up to the front door and good luck. So,
Having compassion and empathy and teaching your kids to stick their hand out when someone's, know, and say hello or when someone is alone is a big part of it that starts at home.
Preeti (01:45)
Right. And I think the other thing that we can say about these transitions is that time takes time, right? It's not going to happen overnight, but it's not going to take that long either. I actually remember my freshman year in high school. it was really, really brutal those first few days. So I went from a teeny tiny little private school with, think, maybe 15 kids in a class to a gigantic public high school.
with over 800 students in my freshman class alone. I had never been around that many people, let alone that many kids at a school. And I didn't know a single person. And I was embarrassed and mortified and filled with shame and anxiety because I wasn't sure that anybody was gonna like me, anybody was going to be my friend. And I never talked about it with my parents. I did not let them know.
Curt (02:16)
Wow.
Preeti (02:38)
because I thought it was shameful to feel lonely and scared and anxious in that way. And we're here to tell you and your kids that that's not true, that there's absolutely zero shame and that as you said, a lot of kids are going to be feeling exactly the same way. And I think the other message that we wanna convey and we often talk to our students at MAYA who are going through whatever anxieties in their school careers is that everything changes.
It didn't take that long for me to find my tribe. And in fact, the tribe I found my freshman year was a great tribe, but it ended up not being my tribe that I ended up with, who are still friends of mine, I'm going to say just a few years later. So, it all changed. If I could go back and tell 14 -year -old Preeti, hold on, it's not going to be that bad. I wish I could, because she was pretty, pretty terrified.
Curt (03:29)
And kids catastrophize just like adults. So they're in their own heads thinking how awful it's going to be, how they're going to spill food all over their clothes. They're going to trip in the hallway. Their bag and papers are going to go everywhere. So getting in front of that as a parent and knowing like none of that's true. None of that's going to happen. And even if it did, it happens and there's no shame involved. But kids catastrophize just like parents. So in their world, that's their catastrophe. Parents' worlds are a little different. They're catastrophizing.
In their world, it's right out of a teen movie where you see the worst day ever in humiliation at high school. So, talk to them about that. Like you do realize all those thoughts you have are not true and you're making them up. And that's just part of your defense mechanism and how we're built, but that's actually not going to happen. And if it did, it's not a big deal.
Preeti (04:10)
Right, there's no Carrie in the gym blood situation that's going to happen. Maybe don't show them the movie before they start high school as well. Curt, if parents and kids want to find out more about our services at MAYA, where do they go?
Curt (04:23)
They can go to maya4life.com That's maya4life.com and you can check out all our videos podcasts on the blog. You can check out our scheduling for students and parent classes and get in touch with Preeti myself. Just click the calendar or book us and we're happy to have a conversation with families and parents about what's going on in their lives.
Preeti (04:43)
That's right. Thanks, Curt.
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